A lot of my life is changing right now, and with that, so does how people in general will have to deal with me. In the name of sensitivity and encouragement, I’ve formulated the following eight rules for how to deal with the Broad Broad for the next year. If they sound a little frustration-filled – they are! 😉 The rules are as follows:
#1 (a.k.a. The Golden Rule) DO NOT attempt to discourage me from my plan. This includes using phrases like “Oh, but you can have a little of…” or “You can surely have a little treat…” when describing food that is both full of calories and fat, and not part of my plan. It is hard enough for me to do this, please don’t make it harder.
#2 (a continuation of #1) DO NOT attempt to rationalize why it is okay for me to deviate from my mission. Saying that I can eat whatever because it is my birthday, Christmas, the weekend, a special event, a night out with the girls, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, or Tuesday are NOT valid excuses. Sorry.
#3 DO NOT feel bad for me. I don’t feel bad about it, why should you? I choose to eat what I eat. No one forces me. I could choose to eat junk. I just don’t.
#4 I DO NOT expect you to change your eating habits for me, but I do expect you to respect mine. Your life does not have to alter because mine has.
#5 DO NOT purchase me candy. Or fattening food. Pretty much, don’t buy me anything edible at all. Anything you do will go straight into my freezer and remain a frigid temptation for me to mess up.
#6 DO NOT try to hide what you’re eating around me. I am not an alcoholic watching someone down a six-pack – watching you eat does not make me experience cravings and the shakes.
#7 DO NOT question whether I should be eating something I’m already enjoying. If I am eating it, it means that it is part of my plan, no matter if you think it should be or not.
#8 DO speak positively. It’s always great to hear that someone else believes in me, even if I already believe in myself. Those moments and phrases can be stored in my memory for the times when I’m not feeling fabulous about this whole process, and to offset the negativity of others.
Violation of any of these rules will likely earn you a stern look from me. Repeat offenders: beware.