Eight Simple Rules for Being Around the Broad Broad

A lot of my life is changing right now, and with that, so does how people in general will have to deal with me. In the name of sensitivity and encouragement, I’ve formulated the following eight rules for how to deal with the Broad Broad for the next year. If they sound a little frustration-filled – they are! 😉 The rules are as follows:

#1 (a.k.a. The Golden Rule) DO NOT attempt to discourage me from my plan. This includes using phrases like “Oh, but you can have a little of…” or “You can surely have a little treat…” when describing food that is both full of calories and fat, and not part of my plan. It is hard enough for me to do this, please don’t make it harder.

#2 (a continuation of #1) DO NOT attempt to rationalize why it is okay for me to deviate from my mission. Saying that I can eat whatever because it is my birthday, Christmas, the weekend, a special event, a night out with the girls, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, or Tuesday are NOT valid excuses. Sorry.

#3 DO NOT feel bad for me. I don’t feel bad about it, why should you? I choose to eat what I eat. No one forces me. I could choose to eat junk. I just don’t.

#4 I DO NOT expect you to change your eating habits for me, but I do expect you to respect mine. Your life does not have to alter because mine has.

#5 DO NOT purchase me candy. Or fattening food. Pretty much, don’t buy me anything edible at all. Anything you do will go straight into my freezer and remain a frigid temptation for me to mess up.

#6 DO NOT try to hide what you’re eating around me. I am not an alcoholic watching someone down a six-pack – watching you eat does not make me experience cravings and the shakes.

#7 DO NOT question whether I should be eating something I’m already enjoying. If I am eating it, it means that it is part of my plan, no matter if you think it should be or not.

#8 DO speak positively. It’s always great to hear that someone else believes in me, even if I already believe in myself. Those moments and phrases can be stored in my memory for the times when I’m not feeling fabulous about this whole process, and to offset the negativity of others.

Violation of any of these rules will likely earn you a stern look from me. Repeat offenders: beware.

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13 thoughts on “Eight Simple Rules for Being Around the Broad Broad

  1. Hahahah–that is excellent. It is definitely tough doing this on your own, especially when you’re dealing with an un-supportive environment. But stick to your guns & you will make it work for you.

    Do they get check marks when they break the rules? Five check marks & then a time-out?

    Believe me, I come from an Italian family who LOVES their food. That does not make family dinners easy. They tell me I’m disappearing or shrinking too quickly. Hey, after 20+ years of being overweight, I’m doing this for me. Not for anyone else. They’ve come around though. And now they’re all asking me how WW works. Hehehe…

  2. This is dead-on right. I have had to explain every single one of those rules at least daily to someone. Your blog is funny, inspirational, and so true to the struggles we all face on this strange, trippy road to getting healthy!

  3. Hey,

    Great list.. I get so frustrated with people constantly saying “oh whatever, you can have some pizza, its Saturday” I think I need to wear a sign that says “no, stop talking.” 🙂

    -Erin (AirhenLynne on WW message boards)

  4. This list is SO funny, although I know it’s not intended to be. I have experienced all of those things, and they can be quite annoying. It is hard enough to stay on track without having people encouraging you to go off plan. Keep up the good work!

  5. Thanks so much for all the great comments! It’s awesome to see that so many people can relate. A great deal of people in my personal life are very supportive and encouraging, but one “key player” is not. I’m tempted to print out this list and hand it to them! 😉

  6. Wow, that was so perfectly phrased!! I can honestly say I have felt or experienced a form of all eight rules! I’m linking my mom who is on WW too…she’s gonna lalalalove it!

    I think you should print it out, make fliers, etc. everyone needs to know!

    p.s. number 7 is a big pp of mine!! it’s so annoying when that comes from really skinny people too, and they shake their heads at you… “i am not a puppy who made tinkle on the carpet, ok! don’t talk to me that way!!”

  7. Hey! I love your blog – its great, especially these rules. We should keep in touch – we’re right around the same weight now and also have close to the same goal weight. It’d be great to have someone to talk to along the way to getting skinny!! I’m LuvYa1316 on WW message boards.

  8. Love it Lisa!! Keep up the great work – I start ‘officially’ next week. But… I have to go to the ‘group therapy’ meetings for consistent results. You’re the best!

    Although I’m breaking a rule, we do need to have a Girls Night downtown. *soon* C’mon! I have nothing for the past 9 months!!!

  9. Thank you again for all the wonderful comments! I’m really happy that people are a) reading this and b) relating it to their own lives with a bit of humor. 🙂

    And Cindycita… I’ll go for the Girl’s Night, but I’ll be drinking MGD 64. Lol!

  10. Beer is nasty. Water would be more tastier …. but I’ll lay off and let you have your watered down low calorie beer! lol

    I am actually starting the meetings tonight in River Falls – might as well get on the band wagon before the wagon drives off and away.

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