Last Wednesday, I went snowboarding for the first time in my life. I’d actually never gone skiing either, so the whole concept of going down a hill with my feet strapped into purposely slippery objects was completely new to me.
Sure, it was fun. My rental board was even color-coordinated with my outfit (oh-so important!), I wasn’t the only beginner in our small group lesson, by the end of the day I was really getting the hang of it, etc.
But the real victory came during the part of the lesson where the instructor kept having to help me up when both my feet were strapped to the board (it’s pretty difficult to get up when both of your feet are in the board).
1) I was letting a guy help me up off my feet. Previously I would have shunned such contact because of my weight – I wouldn’t want to pull the guy off-balance with my massive mass. But on Wednesday, I later realized, I did it without thinking. I didn’t stop to compute the estimated relative visible strength of the guy against my weight, including variables for the slickness of the snow and the potential for embarrassment should my calculations be wrong.
2) I let a guy (a strange guy, I might add) stand in my personal space, also without a second thought.
3) I was falling down, looking stupid, and not really caring who saw me doing so. This happened instead of worrying that people might be goggling at a fat chick bouncing down the slope, snowboard trailing behind her – because I am not that same girl who I was this time last year. I am not the person biting her nails and freaking out, pondering if everyone is constantly judging her and her weight/judging her for her weight.
In just a few days, I will have been on WW for a year. But it took me this long and trying a new winter sport to really realize how much I really have changed and how high my confidence has soared.