It’s no secret that I enjoy a good stiff drink or six at social events.
Or rather, I used to.
Now, all it takes is one glass of wine to knock me on my (less substantial) behind. Not even kidding. Besides the fact that I now sometimes masquerade as a grown-up and no longer spend hours bar-hopping with my college friends, there’s an actual physical reason for this.
Did you know that your rate of metabolizing alcohol is directly related to your weight? For example: at 250 lbs. (Old Lisa), a woman who drinks 6 drinks over 4 hours will have a blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.0617, under the legal limit here in the United States. A woman weighing 170 lbs. (New Lisa) drinking at the same rate, however, results in a jaw-dropping BAC of 0.1134 – time to call a cab, grab your water bottle and some aspirin, huddle up in your bed and sleep in your sunglasses as protection against the blinding-oh-my-GAWD rays of sunshine that will undoubtedly find their way to your face in the morning.
(P.S. Want to calculate your BAC? Check out http://tinyurl.com/yjdf2zn!)
Right around Christmas I was at a party in which I forgot about the above. Whoops? How I managed to stay upright on stilettos that night, I’ll never know. I tossed back shots of vodka, glass after glass of wine, and threw back a few beers for good measure. Me = trashed. I’d like to blame the fact that someone who derived amusement from my drunken self (*ahem*Cindy*ahem*) was pouring some of my drinks, but in reality, I did not refuse any of the alcohol surreptitiously poured into my cup.
I used to be pretty proud of my ability to drink my friends under the table. At 247 lbs., I could keep the pace with any of my guy friends while my thinner girl friends dropped one-by-one out of the running. Ever had a lunchbox? I’m not talking about the plastic Barbie and the Rockers container you used to use to carry your sandwich and Oreos to kindergarten. No, a lunchbox drink is a 16 oz. glass of beer filled 3/4 full, with a shot of orange juice and a shot glass full of amaretto dropped in the bottom of the glass. Do you sip it slowly, savoring the mix of flavors? Oh no, a lunchbox is meant to be drunk like a shot – drink til you hit the bottom of the glass.
Yup, I can remember many evenings at the local bar drinking those with a couple of male acquaintances.
I could give several reasons for enjoying booze. I did, after all, grow up in Wisconsin, the land of Miller brewing (our baseball team’s even named after the process of creating beer). It’s also legal for a minor to drink with their parents in Wisconsin. I remember once being 18 years old and out to dinner with my family at a local “classy” restaurant. (Read: “classy” and dead animals tacked to the wall are not mutually exclusive in this state.) While most of you were probably ordering Diet Coke at that age, I was ordering a chocolate martini.
My glassware cabinet is full of cups meant specifically for liquor. In college it was purple plastic margarita glasses and my shot glass collection. After college I added slightly more mature flagons, like champagne flutes and stemless wine glasses.
Now, my sink full of dirty dishes rarely contains any other glass than water glasses. As I said above, I just can’t drink like I used to, and if I have WW Points left to consume in the evening, you can bet I’d rather eat a banana than down a beer.
That’s not to say I’ve become a teetotaler. I still enjoy a drink now and then, but in far fewer quantities than before. My top low-calorie drinks include:
- white wine spritzers – 90 calories
- MGD 64 (bottled) – 64 calories, obv.
- small glass of red or white wine – 70-90 calories
- Captain and Diet Coke – 97 calories
What’s your favorite low-cal beverage?