All right, let’s just get something unpleasant out of the way, shall we?
Weight: 247 lbs.
Weight: 176.2 lbs.
I’ve made my peace with that number, mostly because things have been going AWESOMELY.
For starters, I’ve shaken things up a bit. My doctor recommended me to set my goal weight at 165 lbs. Uh… k, well, I’ve been relatively close to that weight and I wasn’t in a happy place with how I look, to say the least. But I also realize that while I may, someday, be able to get down to 145 lbs., I’m likely going to have a body shape (stick-figure) that I’m not happy with and never really wanted in the first place. I want to look less Callista Flockhart circa her Ally McBeal days, more Wonder Woman.
So I changed my goal weight. I’m now shooting for 157, a total weight loss of 90 lbs.
Also – even though it’s been less than a week since my new course of treatment, my night eating has been reduced to only once per night. This is a big change from the two, three, even four or five times I used to get up. The other night, I got up to (TMI) use the little girls’ room, and actually passed by the fridge on my way back. You read correctly… I went back to sleep without having to eat something. This NEVER happens.
And I decided to stop trying to count points for what I eat at night. Trying to put back together wrapper pieces to see how many total items there were, count bread slices to see how many are missing, etc., drive me crazy and cause me so much anxiety. Now that it’s only happening once per night, I’m just going to consider my weekly points allowance as covering what I eat during the night.
Though I feel like I’m cheating a little bit. Ever since I started taking Prozac, I’m not hungry. At all. I could happily go all day and not think of food. I still eat all my points because I plan my meals ahead of time, but I’m not starving and always looking forward to my next consumable item like I was before. With just that alone, I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of me.
The bottom line: things are better. And I hope they keep getting better.
‘Cause I’m gifting myself with that smartphone when I hit 172 again.