6

Weeks 80-83: Woohoo!

Okay, so I’ve been absent. What have I been doing? Out living life to the fullest!

Partying in some scandalous outfits. Training for a 10K in September. And yesterday, kayaking for the first time ever.

Beyond the general scary aspects of kayaking (tipping over, falling out, and you know, drowning, etc.), I was kept from jumping in and floating down the river because I was too nervous that Old Lisa wouldn’t fit in the kayak at all. Or I would be so heavy I’d make it sink. Or extra tippy. Or that if I tipped, my hefty hips would trap me in the kayak.

New Lisa donned a life-jacket and took the plunge, so to speak. I actually managed to stay in the boat for the entire 3 hour trip (go me!).

That isn’t to say that I’ve been sliding. Actually, I’ve had a pretty decent four weeks, weight-wise, since my last post:

Week 80 Results:
Starting stats:
Weight: 247 lbs.
BMI: 36.5

Today’s stats:
Weight: 169.8 lbs.
BMI: 25.1

Week 81 Results:
Starting stats:
Weight: 247 lbs.
BMI: 36.5

Today’s stats:
Weight: 168.2 lbs.
BMI: 24.8

Week 83 Results:
Starting stats:
Weight: 247 lbs.
BMI: 36.5

Today’s stats:
Weight: 168 lbs.
BMI: 24.8

Where is Week 82, you ask? I pretty much hopped aboard the S.S. Failboat. I went to my sister’s cabin for the weekend and, horror of horrors, forgot my scale. By the time I got back, the next time I would’ve weighed-in was Tuesday morning, and with that being half-way through the week, I just decided to wait until Saturday.

Recap: I love life. And I’m loving it at a “normal” BMI. I’m continuing to lose weight even though I’m running long distances (to me, anyways) four times per week.

Two words: HECK YES.

(There’s some Wisconsin-talk for you. See? It does pop out every now and then.)

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4

Week Seventy-Five Results

Well, a loss is a loss. I’m down .2 lbs. from my weigh-in last week.

More importantly, I’m scheduled for a doctor’s visit next week. This time, I am not going to let her brush off my night eating as a non-issue. This is srs bizness. I’ve lit shet on fire and everything, this is not something to ignore any longer. And I’m tired of being hungry after eating half of my calories while I’m not even fully conscious.

Good stuff: I’m back to pounding the pavement in my running shoes. I’m running the Fishy Four Mile in Chetek, Wis., in July with my sister and brother-in-law, and then I’m running my hometown’s 10K about a week after that.

Yeah, I’m batshetcrazy. What more can I say?

Starting stats:
Weight: 247 lbs.
BMI: 36.5

Today’s stats:
Weight: 172.8 lbs.
BMI: 25.5

5

Week Seventy-Two Results/Fabulous… Tuesday?

Have you ever wanted to smash the power button on your computer, wedge it tightly in a box, and make it keep company with the dust bunnies in the back of your closet for a while? I did. As much as I love my computer, the internet, my blog, etc., sometimes you just need to step away. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m constantly plugged into something.

So I sent my laptop on vacay and focused on the non-electronic world for a while. But, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Here I am, refreshed, and working harder than ever so that I can finally open the box of my new phone.

Okay, at Saturday’s weigh-in: I stayed exactly the same. I’m cool with that!

Starting stats:
Weight: 247 lbs.
BMI: 36.5

Today’s stats:
Weight: 169 lbs.
BMI: 25.0

Last week was good in general. I worked out, tried new foods, had a *gasp* beer… it was great. This week I’m stressing a little because I’ll be going to my sister’s cabin and I’m sure we’ll be going out on their new boat and I might be persuaded to take a ride on the jet ski. You know what that means…

(You must read this next phrase out loud in a whisper with a properly horrified tone, and your hands either over your eyes or at either side of your mouth ala Home Alone.)

A swimsuit.

In pub-lic. (Thanks, Ron White, for forever ruining my pronunciation of this word.)

Don’t get me wrong, I feel pretty good about my body these days. But as I explained to the fab. @cindyelizabeth on Twitter last night, it’s one thing to think you look okay when covered with clothing and another when you’re essentially wearing a stretchy bra and underwear in broad daylight.

I’m also really excited because this week I’m going to post my first “real” product review EVAR. I kind of feel like an actual blogger now, lol.

And this is just for Meg, because I think she doesn’t believe I really have a psuedo-bike under my desk:

This is surely going to be fodder for people to make fun of me. Oh well! I'll live.

3

Fabulous Friday #4

Well, Comcast, you almost succeeded in thwarting me – I experienced Internet failure for most of tonight, but it’s back up.

No, I didn’t forget about writing my Friday post, nor did I shirk my duty with my characteristic periodic laziness. 😉

But I am tired, so I’ll keep this post short and sweet. This week went well. Even though I was sick, I didn’t binge and let myself have whatever I wanted. I count that as a major victory right there.

So cross your fingers for me, please! I’ll see you at the scale tomorrow.

8

Days of Rectangle Pizza and Lemon-Juiced Apples

Thanks to Mr. Jamie Oliver (who is pretty awesome, let’s just get that out of the way), school lunches seem to be the hot issue right now. With all the talk, I’m starting to think that perhaps my cafeteria days were a bit unusual.

For starters, Mr. Coke and Ms. Pepsi were persona non grata at my elementary school, as were their generic equivalents; once my mom tried to send a can of “IGA” root beer in my lunch box and it was quickly confiscated by the eagle-eyed principal who happened to be policing the area at the time. “We drink milk in this school,” he sternly informed me, the fourth-grade miscreant who was already plotting at how to get back at my mom for the embarrassment she caused me by placing this banned substance in my possession.

Drink milk, we did. I’m from Wisconsin, after all – have to support the local industry. (You graduate to keeping brewing business afloat about the same time you receive your diploma, by the way.) Most high schools have gymnasium scoreboards donated by and emblazoned with one of the aforementioned soda brands. Not so with my school – ours were branded with the word “KEMPS” and some stereotypical cow clip art.

We also had no soda machines in my school district. There was a milk (are you surprised?) and a juice machine, and they were turned off most of the time. While some schools had fast-food a la carte items (I remember being insanely jealous of my cousin’s lunchtime Pizza Hut meals), we had none – but you could buy some ice cream sold by members of the FFA.

Though I didn’t eat lunch at high school (see http://wp.me/ppaqG-2R for details), I remember my elementary school meals very clearly. Who could forget industrial peanut butter that had the same consistency as ketchup? Or apple slices you couldn’t eat without screwing your face up at the sourness of the lemon juice poured on them to keep them fresh while indecisive kids shuffled their way through the food line? And who didn’t love the rectangle-shaped pizza, with square pepperoni pieces? My school’s cafeteria must have had a vendetta against roundness, I guess. Vegetables like corn and salad were frequent residents on our plastic trays, and I really don’t remember us ever getting items like cake or brownies. Maybe once in awhile.

Overall, I feel like kids in my school may have fared better than a lot of schools around the country. And yet, I still ended up obese – and the why’s and how’s of that are best left for a future blog post that will undoubtedly be incredibly lengthy.

4

Life as a Low-Cal Liquorholic

It’s no secret that I enjoy a good stiff drink or six at social events.

Or rather, I used to.

On a boat, trick! Last summer with my sister and a (previously) ever-present drink in my hand.

Now, all it takes is one glass of wine to knock me on my (less substantial) behind. Not even kidding. Besides the fact that I now sometimes masquerade as a grown-up and no longer spend hours bar-hopping with my college friends, there’s an actual physical reason for this.

Did you know that your rate of metabolizing alcohol is directly related to your weight? For example: at 250 lbs. (Old Lisa), a woman who drinks 6 drinks over 4 hours will have a blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.0617, under the legal limit here in the United States. A woman weighing 170 lbs. (New Lisa) drinking at the same rate, however, results in a jaw-dropping BAC of 0.1134 – time to call a cab, grab your water bottle and some aspirin, huddle up in your bed and sleep in your sunglasses as protection against the blinding-oh-my-GAWD rays of sunshine that will undoubtedly find their way to your face in the morning.

(P.S. Want to calculate your BAC? Check out http://tinyurl.com/yjdf2zn!)

Right around Christmas I was at a party in which I forgot about the above. Whoops? How I managed to stay upright on stilettos that night, I’ll never know. I tossed back shots of vodka, glass after glass of wine, and threw back a few beers for good measure. Me = trashed. I’d like to blame the fact that someone who derived amusement from my drunken self (*ahem*Cindy*ahem*) was pouring some of my drinks, but in reality, I did not refuse any of the alcohol surreptitiously poured into my cup.

I used to be pretty proud of my ability to drink my friends under the table. At 247 lbs., I could keep the pace with any of my guy friends while my thinner girl friends dropped one-by-one out of the running. Ever had a lunchbox? I’m not talking about the plastic Barbie and the Rockers container you used to use to carry your sandwich and Oreos to kindergarten. No, a lunchbox drink is a 16 oz. glass of beer filled 3/4 full, with a shot of orange juice and a shot glass full of amaretto dropped in the bottom of the glass. Do you sip it slowly, savoring the mix of flavors? Oh no, a lunchbox is meant to be drunk like a shot – drink til you hit the bottom of the glass.

Yup, I can remember many evenings at the local bar drinking those with a couple of male acquaintances.

I could give several reasons for enjoying booze. I did, after all, grow up in Wisconsin, the land of Miller brewing (our baseball team’s even named after the process of creating beer). It’s also legal for a minor to drink with their parents in Wisconsin. I remember once being 18 years old and out to dinner with my family at a local “classy” restaurant. (Read: “classy” and dead animals tacked to the wall are not mutually exclusive in this state.) While most of you were probably ordering Diet Coke at that age, I was ordering a chocolate martini.

My glassware cabinet is full of cups meant specifically for liquor. In college it was purple plastic margarita glasses and my shot glass collection. After college I added slightly more mature flagons, like champagne flutes and stemless wine glasses.

Now, my sink full of dirty dishes rarely contains any other glass than water glasses. As I said above, I just can’t drink like I used to, and if I have WW Points left to consume in the evening, you can bet I’d rather eat a banana than down a beer.

That’s not to say I’ve become a teetotaler. I still enjoy a drink now and then, but in far fewer quantities than before. My top low-calorie drinks include:

  • white wine spritzers – 90 calories
  • MGD 64 (bottled) – 64 calories, obv.
  • small glass of red or white wine – 70-90 calories
  • Captain and Diet Coke – 97 calories

What’s your favorite low-cal beverage?

5

Prior/Future PriorFatGirl Meetup!

This Saturday was all around super fantabulous (I’m aware that’s not a word, Sir Spell Check, kthnxbai). After WI, I scrambled to haul my behind from my hometown to The Beat Coffee House in Minneapolis to meet the amazing Jen from http://www.priorfatgirl.com and other women who have made/are in the middle of/are starting a weight loss journey.

Truth: I was extremely, extremely nervous. I’ve met plenty of people as Lisa, 25-year-old Wisconsinite who works in higher education, loves shopping, drives with more than a hint of road rage and disrespect for local vehicle noise laws, grew up in a town of just over 1,000 people and loves to laugh and talk your ear off once she gets to know you. Up until this weekend, I’d never met anyone as Lisa, that still-slightly-chubby girl who writes a blog generally complaining about all things weight loss, Tweets every five seconds, and basically displays some of her most private thoughts for the world to view.

So, anxiety. I had no illusions that anyone there (besides Nicole and Jess from the WW community/Twitterverse) would have actually read my blog/seen me on the message boards, and yet, I still agonized. If they had read my blog/seen my picture, would I measure up to their expectations? Would I be skinny enough, funny enough, etc.?

The morning of, I took my feelings out on my closet. I did the famous hanger-slam as I flipped through my wardrobe. I scoffed at outfits I previously raved about and flung the unworthy to the floor.

And then, I stopped. I said, “Eff it. Be yourself. Yourself does not wear skirts at 10 a.m. on Saturday.”

That was another moment where I knew I’d changed. Old Lisa would have continued to freak out until the moment her hand grasped the coffee house door handle, and actually, probably until the event was over and I was back, safe in the confines of my beat-up Saturn. Instead, I decided to throw on my trusty denim leggings, brown suede knee-high boots, and a tunic-length navy t-shirt with a new apple-green tank underneath for luck, and go in without the apprehension.

So I went. And Jen greeted us all with a hug, who isn’t put at ease by that? I introduced myself to people I’d never met, struck up conversations, and even confessed one of my worst fears (anonymously) on a notecard provided to us by Jen. Each of us then selected someone else’s fear to read aloud – another of my fears: speaking in public.

But New Lisa showed her face again. I walked to the front, spoke, and wasn’t even afraid to cast my eyes on the crowd in front of me. I felt at home amongst these women; they know what it’s like to walk down the path of weight loss.

So thank you so much to Jen, Amanda, and Lindsay from http://www.priorfatgirl.com, and to all the sponsors of the event (Mom’s Best Naturals, Popsicle, Smart Food, Funky Monkey, Fiber One, Amy’s Organics, Saiba Smart, Better Balance, Light Life, Orgain, and Barney Butter)! It was a wonderful experience, and I got to meet some amazing people and try some great new products. BTW, Barney Butter is now my new obsession. I’d never tried almond butter before but it was deliciousssss.

A special thank you to Nicole and Jess for introducing me to Tatters Vintage Clothing in Minneapolis afterwards – I bought the cutest brown plaid crop-jacket. (Plus, I think we all deserve medals for surviving those crazy-slippery sidewalks. Us FTW!)

P.S. Have you found me on Twitter yet? I’ll tell you way more about my life than you want to know. I’m @thebroadbroad, and Jen is @priorfatgirl, Nicole is @nicycle, and Jess is @jessinader. Those ladies are fabulously entertaining and interesting! You can also find Nicole at the-last-twenty.blogspot.com, including some pictures from Saturday.